Jan 11th, 2009 Today we got up and planned on the fish market as one of our ventures today, but was one thing we needed to take care of before we went. We ended up going to the shopping mall so I could pick up this memory card converter to put pictures on Julie and Kims computer. As we quickly found what we needed we also started to wonder more and venture through out the mall. Needless to say we did not make it to the fish market. It also would of been way to cold seeing as how most of the market is outside.

Still in thought about the movie and my decision to soon visit the Eastern Child Welfare Society I mood has been silently numb. So far much of my visit has been going out shopping and seeing the sites and only recently confirmed that its 100% sure that Eastern Child Welfare is the agency would need to go through if I was to one, look at my file and anything that it has to offer and two, start a search with what I know so far about myself.

Many questions have stirred. Before I even got on the plane to come here I really had made up my mind that I would not do a search this time, but that was only because I wasn't sure of the agency for a sec. I thought I might be a Holt baby. So the info I have and the assurance of what agency I will make a trip to G.O.A.L
and sit down with them to make an appointment to go look at my file at Eastern Child Welfare Society.

Note to mom and dad:

As much as I would like to call you and tell you and talk with you. I can only type to you right now. There are just a few things I would like to express to you. I Love you and dad with everything that is in me and you have given me everything and then some in my life. I can say that growing up my child hood was filled with unconditional love and compassion in allowing me to be the being I was and am today. The opportunity through cultural camps and life lessons taught by you and dad is something that only a MOM and DAD can give to their daughter and would hope that I will pass that on to my kids one day. This is not the usual selfish tail waging the dog situation but I will say that this is about me and not what our family already has. I have been thinking about this a lot and have decided to do an extended search for birth family and not to find a mom because I already have one and I want you to know that and have comfort that nothing can break our mother, daughter bond that we have built and fought so hard to keep. It is because this untold story has bothered me for quite some time and to not at least try to find out would leave a emptiness in my soul. I may not ever find out anything but to try is a fulfillment that needs to be done. Again I only express this because I do care about your feelings and you both as special beings in my life and think that sometimes you don't express them to protect me from mine but I no longer need that protection because I have learned that our family is stronger then that and I would hope that with your love will come expression, support and understanding in what I feel and search for. I'm not setting my standard high for anything only in fear that in reality there might not be anything to find and in the end I have to live with that. I love you both and especially to mom, Mother is a strong word and meaning and there is not other being that does that best for me then you.

Note: I also emailed you this before I posted it on my blog. Love you like no other.


continued day...
After we shopped I was craving Italian. We found this nice restaurant called Sarirotos. Mmmmmmm boy was the food good. I first intended to get pizza but ended up choosing the spaghetti and meatballs. Atmosphere, conversation, food and desert was great.